


The joy of teaching

by Ledgea



Series: The witchers' grapevine [5]
Category: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Gen, Humor, Teaching, pet rocks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:53:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26309623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ledgea/pseuds/Ledgea
Summary: Letho accepts the deal because he has nothing better to do. He had planned to spend his winter holed up somewhere in a shitty village alone, because Auckes had decided to seek out Heyn and Serrit had developped a masochistic streak and was headed for the Cats' brothel, so the perspective of a warm winter doing something useful and that will see him paid is an appealing one.And teaching kids shouldn't be too difficult either. He had done rather well with Cirilla after all. So he is rather confident in his ability to oversee a bunch of children, and if the armed lessons prove to be too much of a hassle, he could always revert to hand to hand.
Relationships: Letho & Children, Letho of Gulet & Auckes & Serrit, Letho z Gulety | Letho of Gulet & Original Character(s)
Series: The witchers' grapevine [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1794697
Comments: 55
Kudos: 105





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey!!
> 
> So this came to be because of Letho's chapter in the Bard's daughter.  
> I just couldn't get teacher Letho out of my head so have some more too!!

When Letho comes back to the count's estate after getting rid off his leshen problem, he's feeling rather confident about being paid. The count had seemed honest, he actually had given Letho good directions to the monster's lair and had promised that his horse would be taken care of during his absence.

So when the man starts to fidget in his office chair as soon as Letho is shown in, the witcher growls and puts one of his fiercest meanest expression on his face, he doesn't plan to get robbed of the payment that is his by right.

The man takes one look at his face, squeaks and offers him an already prepared purse that seems to contain the exact amount they agreed on beforehand. Letho doesn't understand why the man is so uncomfortable if he's prepared to pay him fairly.

And then the count invites him to sit down and offers him a drink. Letho growls and turns around because he's not stupid, he can feel trouble coming his way. But he's prevented from leaving by four guards, who don't seem intimidated by his snarl, and he grumpily takes a seat in front of the count's desk.

He takes his glass, sniffs it, takes the smallest sip possible to check for poison, and gulps it down when he's sure it's okay to do so. The count clears his throat, fills Letho's glass again and pointedly doesn't look at him.

“We had a bard pass through a few months ago, master witcher,” the count says and Letho pays attention trying to make sense of this clusterfuck, “He sang you witchers' praises and assured me that you were all rather... nice.”

“I'm not nice,” he growls, and curses Jaskier silently, because the bard apparently can't quite keep his mouth shut.

“If not nice, then reliable at least.”

Letho hums because that is mostly true. A sloppy reputation wouldn't do them any good, and even the fucking White Wolf seems to have understood that since his stupid stint at Blaviken.

“We have a problem here, master witcher. One you may be able to help us solve.”

Letho grunts noncommitally, he's not agreeing to anything before an explanation is given to him.

“You have to be aware of this area's reputation. Of our trouble with blades ?”

Letho grunts in agreement this time. He would have to be completely stupid not to know about it. There is a region in Redania where all the nobles are utter shit with blades. Swords, daggers, axes, spears, you name it, they just can't wield it. 

It's a well-known fact, one for which these nobles are ridiculed even. But they learned to compensate. They're supposed to be deadly in brawls, and they attract strongly loyal guards that even the best bribery won't affect and who know how to use swords. It's one of the many quirks of the continent.

“I was wondering if perhaps you'd be amenable to spend winter here to teach my and my neighbour's children how to defend themselves. Hand to hand of course but if you could be bothered to try to put a blade in their hands... Maybe with some reliable supervision... We would be grateful. I'm afraid my own guards refuse to oversee my children's training since my son almost cut off his own sword hand.”

“How did he manage that ?”, Letho can't stop himself to ask because that seems impossible to him.

“The usual way, I suppose,” the count offers with a shrug.

“There's _no_ usual way to cut off your sword hand with your own sword !”, Letho points out.

“Oh, I can assure you that there is. My neighbour's grandfather even wrote a treaty about it. I'll lend it to you if you agree to stay.”

“I'm not doing it for free.”

“Of course not,” the count agrees and they start to bargain.

Letho still doesn't understand the count's reasoning that lead him to want to hire a witcher for this task, but the man sounds genuine, offers him a warm bed and free meals for the whole winter, and even adds a small purse full of coin for him to collect in the spring.

Letho accepts the deal because he has nothing better to do. He had planned to spend his winter holed up somewhere in a shitty village alone, because Auckes had decided to seek out Heyn and Serrit had developped a masochistic streak and was headed for the Cats' brothel, so the perspective of a warm winter doing something useful and that will see him paid is an appealing one.

And teaching kids shouldn't be too difficult either. He had done rather well with Cirilla after all. So he is rather confident in his ability to oversee a bunch of children, and if the armed lessons prove to be too much of a hassle, he could always revert to hand to hand.

* * *

Letho has severely miscalculated. The accomodation is indeed nice, the meals are good and he's not wanting for anything, that is true. But the kids are a nightmare. They're well-behaved, polite, don't seem to be afraid of him and hard-working, that is true too. But they're also freaking dangerous, especially to themselves. 

First of all Letho was prepared to have to teach a dozen kids at most, but he ends with two dozens instead, because the nearby lords had all jumped at the chance the count had offered of a capable and willing teacher. And keeping an eye on twenty-five kids, boys and girls, ranging from seven to eighteen year old is exhausting. He's almost regretting the fact that he didn't follow Serrit to the Cats. Almost, he's not that desperate yet.

And indeed all the kids are terrible with blades, be it the seven year old who never had one in his hands before or the eighteen year old girl who has scars on her thighs from when she always nicks herself when she draws her daggers. 

A ten year old boy even lost a finger on their first lesson, and Letho had thought that he would be sacked immediately, but the count had just informed him that it was somewhat of a tradition for the family the boy came from and that he shouldn't worry about it. Letho had blinked, dumbly nodded and visited his pupil in the infirmary. He had sat silently at the kid's bedside for a while and left quickly when some cousins, all missing a finger, had come to congratulate the kid. That had been weird.

So after the first few disasters, Letho had decided to concentrate on hand to hand combat for a while, at least until he could finish _A thousand ways to lose your hand_ by the current marquess of Feria's grandfather. He's halfway through and half horrified and half awed at what he has discovered.

The hand to hand lessons aren't really any better though. The oldest kids are good enough, he supposes, and some can even keep up with him for a little while, at least until he gets a hold on them, because then they just can't away and Letho flattens them with his strength. Gently of course, one bad injury was enough for him, he intends to keep his job.

But the younger ones are tireless. He feels like he has to face a dozen Cirillas alone and there's always something he misses, a scrap here or a bruise there. Luckily for him, things don't get worse than some sprains. He feels a little bit smug at the fact that no one breaks anything.

So it takes him a month to get somewhat organized. The mornings are devoted to hand to hand combat, and he spars with the ones who can keep up with him one day, the ones who know the basics another day and then one morning with the younger ones.

He then forces the guards who are supposed to keep an eye on their practice to spar with the two groups he's not overlooking. They agree to help only after he promises and swears and vows to not call on them for the weapon practices. Letho would call them wimps, but if he could he would skip that part of training too so...

He devotes the afternoons to weapon trainings only after he finishes the marquess' book. He doesn't separate the kids by age, they're all equally useless, but rather by the types of blades they want to work with. Most of the girls end up choosing daggers, and most of the boys swords. He still has a girl who begs for some throwing axes and a pair of twin brothers who want a spear, but otherwise it's fairly normal.

The first two days are spent talking about blades safety and cleaning and he only has to contend with one injury when he allows them to draw their blades at the end of the second day. Letho feels so proud.

But even if the beginning seems good, it's not really a smooth journey after that. He has to commission some wooden blades to make the kids practice, and even if the guards laugh at them, they slowly get better.

Marsha stops nicking her thighs and destroying her pants when she draws her daggers, Kyle manages to keep hold of his sword even when someone strikes at him, Hende stops throwing her hatchets – they're waiting a bit to upgrade to real axes – backwards and when Enur and Ebur, the twins, spend a whole session without almost blinding each other with their spears, Letho knows that they're progressing.

And two months into his stay, the count asks for Letho to visit him and informs him that him and his pupils all need to relocate to the nearby baron's estate, who is insisting on hosting them for the end of the winter. Letho shrugs and agrees to accompany everyone. He makes sure that he'll still be fed and paid, but it doesn't really concern him whether he has to teach them here or there.

The kids are all delighted to go on a journey and even more enchanted when they learn that they'll all be riding. The count had tried to foist three carriages and some servants on Letho, and the witcher had taken one look at the big unpractical ugly things and shivering maids and decided to do without them. An escort of guards is still chosen to accompany them, Letho actually has access to some maps, and he feels like the journey will be simple enough to undertake.

But on the day that they are set to depart, Letho feels like he should stop underestimating the kids. The oldest ones are all set and ready to go, but seven year old Kuno is having a tantrum because he lost his favorite toy, ten year old Ines is arguing with her sixteen year old cousin to be allowed to ride with someone else because she doesn't like black horses and eight year old Heiko is already stinking because he gleefully jumped into the first pile of horse dung he saw and now nobody wants to take him on.

“Everybody calm the fuck down,” Letho bellows when he can't take the noise anymore.

The guards, the children, the grooms and even the count who has come to see them off, all turn towards him and Letho steels himself.

“Right. Marsha, you ride with Kuno, Ines you swap with Gresil and ride with Lothar, you'll be on a grey horse then and Heiko, you're with me.”

“Yes, mister Letho,” the kids all answer back.

One frazzled maid finally shows up with Kuno's toy as their convoy slowly gets organized, the oldest kids riding with the youngest, some guards at the front, others taking up the rear and they are finally off two hours after sunrise. It could have been worse.

They are forced to stop two hours later because Welm has to pee and Letho works hard to keep a hold on his temper. They make a quick stop at midday to eat and reach the empty hunting lodge where they're supposed to spend the night well before sundown. The kids all gleefully disappear into the keep and Letho lets them explore it for a bit before he calls them back and gives them tasks.

Some are tasked with bringing firewood inside, others are ordered to prepare the beds, the guards end up on cooking duty and Letho hires Lothar and Mert to help him drag water inside from the well in the courtyard. Marsha and Gruvam, the two oldest, then end up in charge of making sure everybody scrubs themselves down.

They all eat together and then Letho has the weird honor of being asked to tell a story to the kids. He freezes in his seat and wonders what he could even tell them. He automatically wraps his arms around Heiko, when the kid crawls into his lap, and glares at the guards who're smirking at him. He finally tells them the story of a man who never learned how to knock and made friends with witchers out of pure stubbornness. The kids seem to like it and all go quietly to bed when he's done.

They spend the next day on the road too, have to stop several times again before they reach another hunting lodge for the night. Everyone quickly gets settled and Letho frowns at Fane when he spots her cooing at something hidden in her hands, he wonders if he should be wary. He doesn't stay long in the dark because the small ten year old comes to him after dinner and presents him with a snail.

“Look, mister Letho, I found it at midday. Marsha says that it's sleeping winter away and that it'll wake up again in spring. Is she right ?”

“Yes,” Letho rumbles at the kid and then asks, “Why did you pick it up ?”

“Because I didn't know what it was !”

“That... You shouldn't pick unknown things off the floor,” Letho sighs, “And that counts for all of you.”

“But can I keep it ?”, Fane asks him with big pleading eyes.

“Sure. It's harmless. It can be your pet.”

“Really ? That's so cool, look Gresil, I got a pet.”

“I want one too,” Kuno agrees and soon every child is asking Letho for a pet.

He grumbles, awkwardly pats some heads and shoulders, and tells them that they can pick snails up on the morrow if they find any. The kids all beam at him and _hug_ him before asking for another story. The guards laugh at him again from where they're resting at the table and Letho flips them off.

He tells another story, one about a weird guy obsessed with apple pies who's running around Redania after the thief who stole the last of his apples. When they ask him about it, he says that any resemblance to real persons is purely coincidental. The kids laugh at his story and go to bed quietly again after that.

They're all up early though, and a grinning Gruvam informs him that the youngest are all looking for snails before they have to depart. Letho shakes his head, leaves them be and busies himself with preparing the horses for the last part of the journey.

“Thank you,” Marsha tells him while he's saddling the last horse.

“Why ?”, Letho grunts, as far as he knows he didn't do anything worth thanking him for.

“For letting the kids play outside. For letting Fane keep her snail.”

Letho grunts again, he doesn't know what to say to her.

“You know, for most of them it's probably the first time they can run around outside unsupervised and just do what they want. My parents sure as hell didn't let me do it when I was young. I had a playroom inside, but the gardens were for long boring walks and that was it.”

“Your parents are shit ?”, he asks her.

“They're all right, I suppose. They like me, let me ride my horse and they agreed to the daggers. It's just... You know all those expectations and restrictions, don't eat with your fingers, don't run, don't laugh too loud, don't pick up things off the ground, always smile, keep your back straight and the like.”

Letho hums.

“Why did they agree to let you carry the daggers if they're so uptight ?”

“My older brother's twenty, can't wield a blade for shit and is at court right now. He's not really comfortable. So they sent me and Henry here in the hopes that at least _someone_ from the family could learn something and maybe pass it on later. And we needed to put every chances on our side. That's why there are so many girls here.”

“Mister Letho !”, Heiko then screams as he comes running, “We can't find more snails. Do you think that shiny rocks can be pets too ?”

“Mm. Sure,” he agrees, pats the boy on the head and watches him gleefully race outside again.

“See, that was nice,” Marsha says with a smile, “My parents would have said no. And probably thrown out any rock I'd try to bring home because it was dirty.”

Letho shrugs and turns back towards the horse. He's not being nice, just practical, as he sees it the more he agrees to the kids' requests, the more they'll be manageable. No point denying their sensible requests if it makes them happy.

When they set out, almost half the kids have found some sort of pet, usually a very shiny rock. Their party still has to stop next to a river when someone yells about wanting to collect pebbles and the kids all congregate next to the water and fish out the shiniest rocks they can see despite the low temperatures.

Letho and the guards prepare a fire so that the kids can warm up their hands next to it when they're done. Fane abandons her snail for a rock too, after asking Letho if it was alright to set it free next to a tree, and Gresil presents him with a small ocher pebble when they're all back huddling next to the fire.

“Thanks,” Letho rumbles, “What am I supposed to do with it ?”

He supposes that he could always use it as a weapon, it's not too heavy but with momentum, he could probably knock a human out. Or he could throw it at his brothers' heads when he'll see them again, that could be funny too.

“You're supposed to keep it,” Gresil says and smiles at him, “You need your own pet rock too.”

Letho grunts and stares at the rock. Fuck but he can't use it as a weapon now. He closes his fist over it and nods at the kid. He then carefully wraps the pebble into a scrap of cloth and sticks it into one of his saddlebags. When all of the kids are warmed up, he orders them to mount up again and they're off.

When they arrive at the baron's estate at the end of the day, the twins run towards the castle as soon as they hop down of their horses. Letho calls them back and they grumpily come back to help them take care of the horses and carry the packs inside.

When the horses are all settled, they go up to the castle and are quickly shown inside. A middle aged couple is waiting for them and the twins, Enur and Ebur, run up to them before slowing down to a walk when the woman loudly clears her throat.

“Mother, father,” Enur greets them, “Look I have a pet !”

The kid then proudly shows his pebble to his parents and his brother follows up too. Their parents greet them warmly but grimace at the stones and Letho goes forward and looms over the family.

“It was either pebbles or snails,” he growls at them and the woman lets out a small shriek.

“That... These are wonderful then,” their father says and pats the kids on their shoulders, “They'll be... perfect... in your rooms ?”

The baron glances at Letho who nods.

“In your rooms, of course,” the baron repeats clearly this time, “Off you go, kids. Follow Derin, she'll get you all settled.”

The kids all follow the old servant the baron points to and the baroness follows them. The baron then greets Letho and invites him to his office.

They share a glass of wine together accompanied with a platter of cheese and cold meats and Letho answers his host's questions about the kids' progress. The man seems oddly satisfied by it, even if they haven't gotten very far yet. And when they're done, Letho is shown to his rooms, takes a long bath, asks for his supper to be brought up and goes to bed early, he's tired. 

On the morrow, they pick up their training regimen again, albeit with other guards watching them, because the count's men are going back home. The new men still won't help with weapons but they spar with the kids readily enough. The baron even shows up from time to time to watch his boys and his guests practice.

And one afternoon, while Letho is overseeing Gresil and Ines' spar, he hears one of the guard make an interested noise. He can't let his eyes stray from the fight, he learned that the hard way, but stays alert. When the two kids are done and bow to each other, Letho turns towards the guards looking over them and finds the culprit immediately.

He's middle-aged and new, it's the first time Letho sees him, and his eyes are fixed on Marsha's backside. Letho growls, because the kid is eighteen and she doesn't need that kind of attention from a man probably almost twice her age. The man hears him, looks at him and averts his eyes. Letho vows to keep an eye on him.

The man shows up to watch over their practices three times a week, two afternoons and one morning. On the mornings Letho always pairs him up with another guard to train with the boys because he doesn't trust him with the girls.

But one day, when fifteen year old Henry, Marsha's brother, manages to pin the man down, the guard loses his temper and quickly storms out of the room. Letho still hears him complain about the kids to some other guards in the hallway and talk about Marsha, Annegret and Susanna like they're pieces of meat waiting to be sampled by him. None of the other guards answer him and Letho is glad that they're not all sleazy bastards.

He brings the problem up with the baron, who informs him that the man is new to his household and had come recommended by a friend of his. But he promises Letho to get rid of the man before the day is up and Letho's esteem of the man rises. He still asks him to wait a day to dismiss him and tells the baron to come visit them in the morning for their hand to hand sparring session.

The next morning, the baron is indeed present with his wife, and Letho beckons the guard forward. He had spent his evening going over the plan for this session with Marsha, Annegret and Susanna, the eldest girls attending his classes, and he had asked them if they'd be comfortable enough to knock the man on his ass.

The girls had readily agreed to his request and they had looked rather confident when Letho had outlined his plan to them. The witcher beckons them forward and they take up their positions in the middle of the training room. Letho then asks the offensive guard to step forward and asks him if he'd be amenable to spar with the girls. The man agrees quickly and faces Letho's pupils with a smirk on his face. Letho pities him.

“Don't forget,” Letho whispers at the girls, “Aim for the crotch.”

Marsha and Susanna nod at him and Annegret, who's the youngest of the three, offers him a predatory smile. Letho then joins the baron on the sides of the room and signals the beginning of the spar. It's truly a joy to watch the girls methodically tear the man down.

When Susanna goes for the feet, Marsha aims for the fingers, when Annegret targets the face, Susanna takes hold of the man's elbow and bends it backwards painfully. There are a number of elbows that get lost in the vicinity of the man's crotch and Letho hears him whimper several times.

The guard still refuses to tap out of the fight though and gets some good hits in too. Letho takes note to send the girls to see a healer when the fight's done because they're sure to have some bruises. Susanna takes a nasty kick to the ribs, Marsha gets thrown down hard on the floor and Annegret gets a punch on her right cheek.

“Maybe... maybe we should ask them to stop ?”, the baron remarks when Marsha ends up on the floor again and gets up grimacing.

“No, they got that,” Letho answers.

And sure enough, they're wonderful. They continue to slowly take the man apart, they watch each other's backs and only stop their assault when the man is unconscious on the floor. The three of them then turn towards Letho as if asking if they've done good. Letho offers them a tight smile and a nod, and the girls laugh and congratulate each other.

“You know,” the baron remarks, “I don't remember them being so dangerous the last time I saw them.”

“They're quick learners,” Letho says and shrugs.

“It's unseemly,” the baroness hisses at him.

“I was told to teach them,” Letho grumbles, “and I'm teaching them.”

“I don't think that their parents had something quite like that in mind when they sent them to you,” the baron whispers.

“Like I said, I was told to teach them and I _am_ teaching them. Their parents should be relieved to have kids who know how to defend themselves.”

“Right, yes, of course,” the baron agrees and orders for the man to be taken up to his office.

Letho makes sure to hold the gaze of all of the guards who watched the fight, but none of them seem to have a problem with how things turned out, and Letho nods at them. He then sends the three girls to see a healer and to apply some healing paste on their bruises, before he resumes the class.

Their classes continue peacefully after that and Letho sees winter slowly come to an end. The kids' parents all come to visit the baron one after the other and they leave with their children in tow. They all seem impressed with the kids' progress, thank Letho for the time he devoted to their children and usually offer him some food or useful supplies to take with him on the Path in the spring.

Letho grunts his thanks at the nobles and makes an effort to return the hugs the children bestow upon him. He makes sure that the kids all leave with their pet rock too, and that their parents know not to take it away from them. Letho has to assure Gresil several times that he still possesses his own pebble and the kid sticks his head of his carriage to wave at him as he leaves. Letho doesn't really know what he did to end up so well loved.

There are some trouble with some of the girls' parents though. The nobles are all grateful for their kids' new skills with the blades, but they don't seem to appreciate the fact that their daughters can keep up with the boys in fights and that they can give as good as they get. Letho just shrugs and repeats that he did the work for which he was hired.

The count and countess are the last to arrive and they seem to be glad to see their children, Willi and Annegret, again. They greet them warmly and even ask for a display of their new skills. Letho has the brother and sister spar with each other, first hand to hand and then with swords. The count and countess politely clap when they're done and congratulate them on their progress.

Letho feels like he didn't do much though. Sure he taught them to fight, or rather brawl, but these two already knew the basics, and concerning the weapons, he concentrated on teaching the kids some standard easy moves that they could use later on, hopefully without too much damage. But the count still is delighted when his children manage to strike and parry for a few minutes without losing their blades, before they exhaust their entire repertoire of Letho-approved moves.

Letho then gets paid, receives some heartfelt thanks and is even invited to come back the next winter if he's interested. He's surprised by the invitation, doesn't refuse it outright, but tells the count that he can't quite promise anything yet. He still promises the kids to try to come back to visit from time to time.

The count leaves two days after he arrived and Letho readies his gear and his horse to depart too. He leaves the baron's estate a day after the count with saddlebags full of food and healing supplies and a new shirt and soaps – it's the first time he's so well off ! – and heads north. The baron has been so kind as to point out that there has been word about some sort of beast preying on a village a few days away.

He's not even surprised when on the same evening, he spots a horse coming his way. If he had someone to bet with, he would wager that it is Marsha, but to his astonishment, it's Annegret. She dismounts as soon as she sees him and hurries to the fire Letho built. She blows on her hands, stomps her feet and tightens her scarf around her neck.

“What are you doing here ?”, Letho grunts at her when she seems a little bit less frozen.

“I ran away,” she says with a smile and takes a seat next to him, “Wanted to go on an adventure.”

“Adventures are always overrated,” Letho grunts at her and offers her a hot mug of tea.

“Just want to see for myself.”

“Am I going to have to contend with people following you ?”, Letho sighs.

“No,” she grins, “Mother and Willi said that they would cover for me.”

“Fuck,” Letho swears, “How long am I going to be stuck with you ?”

“Depends on you, I guess. I've got an aunt, she's the countess of an estate located a week away. I promised my mother that I would go to her sister. So either you decide to drop me off at my aunt's in a week or we can take a more scenic route.”

“What direction ?”

“East.”

“Fuck, I'm going to the north-west.”

“Seems like it's going to be the scenic route then,” Annegret says with a grin.

“Don't look so happy,” Letho warns her, “You're going to have to pull your weight. I don't travel with dead weights.”

“Sure,” she agrees easily, “And in the meanwhile you can teach me some more dagger moves. I still can't quite manage that downwards sweeping blow, I always fumble and strike my thigh.”

“Tell me that you took your wooden daggers with you,” Letho pleads.

“Of course, I remember the safety speech you gave us.”

“Good,” Letho says and hands her a piece of jerky.

“Ew, what is that ?”, Annegret asks with a disgusted face after her first bite and Letho laughs, he had forgotten that he was faced with a sheltered young noble woman.

“That is what you're going to eat for the next few meals.”

Annegret looks at the piece of meat with dismay, takes a deep breath and takes another bite. She chews on the meat and swallows it down with a grimace. Letho smirks at her and watches her stubbornly finish the jerky. He hands her a waterskin when she's done and watches her drink avidly with a grin. She glares at him when she spots his smile and Letho sees a bit of Cirilla in her. In the long run he has a feeling that travelling with her won't be too much of a hardship.


	2. Chapter 2

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes," Letho growls and points at the castle behind him where a group of people are watching them bemusedly on the steps.

"No," Annegret says and stays firmly planted in front of the witcher.

"Yes. We had a deal, I bring you back to your aunt and you go _home_."

"No," she repeats and for the first time since he's known her, he wishes that she was less stubborn, "You promised me an adventure and instead I got a leasure trip."

"I didn't promise you shit. You invited yourself along and then got ideas. And you where there for that werewolf hunt," Letho points out sensibly.

"You left me in a shitty inn's room while you went on an adventure !"

"For fuck's sake, I don't know where you got that idea that hunting monsters is an _adventure_ ," Letho sneers, "It sure isn't fucking glamorous. Blood, piss, shit, that's what it is."

"Okay, fine, no hunting for me. But can we at least go see something more interesting than shitty inns and taverns ? Please."

"You hate camping, you hate eating jerky, you hate getting your hands dirty. Why won't you just go home ?", Letho asks her and hopes that he doesn't sound too much like he is whining.

"I hate it but I didn' complain, did I ? I just want to see or do something interesting for once, come on. Mister Letho, please !"

Letho rolls his eyes, ponders Annegret's request, looks at her big eyes that are brimming with tears - she's doing it on purpose, he's sure of it - and lets out a defeated sigh.

"Fine," he grunts at her, "Find something you want to do in a week of travel's range and I'll get you there and back to your aunt again. And then you'll stay here."

"You're the best," she says and hugs him.

Letho squirms in her embrace, grumbles and makes her let go of him as soon as he can without seeming to be an asshole.

"There's this cave, three days north, it's supposed to be _glittering_. Can we go see it ? I promise I'll let you drag me back here after without a fuss."

"Fine. Get on your horse, we're leaving."

Annegret squeals, doesn't complain, waves at the members of her aunt's household that are still watching them and they're off to the cave. Seeing as the girl wants an adventure, Letho doesn't stop at inns in the still fresh evenings, makes them camp outside and teaches her how to build a fire. They continue to spar too and he watches her become less and less clumsy with her daggers.

They arrive at the cave on the third day, after asking several villagers for directions, and Letho forbids Annegret from entering it right away. The sun is slowly setting in the sky and he doesn't want to come back from the cave to a night sky. So he orders Annegret to set the camp up and to lead the horses to the nearby stream while he goes hunting. When he comes back, he is pleasantly surprised to see that she didn't take advantage of his absence to head into the cave by herself.

They share their evening meal companionably and Letho lets Annegret have his bedroll again, while he settles down on the ground with a blanket. It's not really comfortable but it's better than to have the girl tossing and turning on the ground because she can't find a good enough position to fall asleep. In the morning, he's for once woken up by an excited Annegret and Letho groans as she tugs him towards a log and forcefully hands him a mug of tea and a withered apple.

Letho sends her to the nearby river to wash the mugs and the pot she used for the tea while he fashions himself a torch with wood and some old scraps of cloth. He puts the blanket on Annegret's shoulders as they head into the cave and leads the way. The girl stumbles around behind him but follows in his steps without complaining.

The first cave they happen upon isn't glittering. Howewer it's full of truly impressive stalactites and stalagmites and even Letho cranes his neck to try to spot the cave's roof. They spend a few minutes exploring the cave, walking around the mineral formations and sometimes scratching at them. Annegret calls him when she finds a new pathway going further into the cave and Letho opens the way again.

And indeed the second cave _is_ glittering. There are crystals on the walls, some stalagmites and, according to Annegret, something that apparently is amethyst can be found in some places. The girl rushes from one place to the other, squeals in delight when she finds a particularly lovely spot and Letho struggles to follow her. She collects small crystals that she finds on the floor too and stops abruptly when she reaches one out-of-the-way corner of the cave.

Letho is a bit behind her, trying to get around a huge stalagmite without depriving Annegret from light, when she lets out a faint sound of surprise. Letho hurries to join her and stares at what she found. It's a chest, hidden under a blanket that Annegret has already taken off it.

"What do you think it is ?", Annegret asks him.

Letho shrugs and kneels next to it.

"Are you going to open it ? Can I do it ? It's like I'm a treasure hunter !"

Letho grunts, moves a bit to the left so that Annegret can kneel on his right, and watches her as she opens the chest with excitement.

"Ohh," she whispers.

Letho hums beside her and slowly strokes the coins inside the chest. Annegret, completely unashamed, dips her hands into the chest and plays with the coins with awe. They probably stumbled upon a bandit's cache and he just hopes that they won't happen upon the bandits themselves when they'll go out. It would be a pain in the arse and Letho isn't in the mood to deal with some human bullshit.

"What do we do with it ?", Annegret asks, "Are we leaving it here ?"

"No," Letho grunts.

He takes out his purse, fills it to the brim with coins, hands a few to Annegret, who hesitates but finally accepts them when he doesn't relent, hands his torch to the girl, closes the chest and hefts it into his arms to carry it out of the cave.

"Are we stealing it ?", Annegret whispers excitedly.

"No. We are reclaiming it."

"Even if it's not ours ?"

"Yes. I'll leave it with you when I bring you back to your aunt. Use it to help an orphanage or to do some good shit you nobles are so fond of."

"If you're sure."

Letho grunts and leaves the chest at the entrance of the way they used to go in. They make a last tour into the cave, Annegret slips an amethyst into his pockets and Letho accepts the gift with a grateful nod. When Annegret is done with sightseeing, he takes the chest back and they start the slow trek back outside. They stop a few more minutes to admire the stalagmites and stalactites in the first cave again, before heading to the entrance.

Letho lets out an angered growl when they arrive back outside and their horses are missing, and he pushes Annegret back into the cave and leaves the chest with her. He orders her to stay inside where she's safe. He then unsheathes one of his swords and goes out in the open, he just hopes that the bandits don't have some crossbowmen with them.

As it turns out, these bandits aren't stealthy at all. Letho can hear them arguing with one another a few meters away and he runs at them with a manic grin on his face. They are shouting by the time Letho reaches them and the sentry's warning goes unheard in all this racket.

The first men fall easily under his blade and he only has to really trade blows with the last three men. They all go down eventually and when Letho turns around, he finds one last crying prostated man at his feet. 

"Uh," Letho says when he sees his face, "I know you."

"Please, please, master witcher. I swear it is not what it looks like."

Letho hums and motions for the man to stand up. He recognizes the bandit he had let live when his group had ambushed him and Cirilla in Redania a few years ago. He remembers that the man had promised to stop banditing though, and he wonders what kind of bullshit he's going to try to sell him now.

"What is it like then ?", Letho asks with a grin as the man gets up.

"I was... hum...," the man stutters and looks around, probably in search of inspiration, "I was trying to convince these... gentlemen that the two horses we found weren't abandonned and that we had to look for their owners and... help them if they were in distress. Right, this is what I was doing."

The man nods like he's trying to convince himself that his story is true and Letho snorts. 

"Mister Letho ! Mister Letho !", Annegret yells and comes running with the chest precariously held in her hands, "Are you alright ?"

Letho nods, steadies her when she almost stumbles upon a corpse and is ready to catch her if she panics at the sight of the dead bodies. But Annegret only blinks at the sight, lets out a small _oh_ and hugs him again. 

"Not another one," the bandit wails and falls to his knees again.

"I'm glad that you're alright," Annegret says and Letho pats her gently on the head, "Oh, Sweet pea and aspic are all right too !"

Annegret then dumps the chest on the prostated man's heels - Letho is almost sure that she doesn't do it on purpose -, ignores the bandit's loud cry of despair and goes to pet the horses.

"Please master witcher, not again, not again ! I swear I will stop banditing ! I swear it on my mother's life !"

"Is your mother even still alive ?", Letho growls back.

"I... I'm not sure, master witcher," the man mumbles and starts to cry, "Please !"

Letho hums, orders him to stay put and goes to check on the horses too. He wonders what he'll do with the man, he's not going to kill him in front of Annegret, who despite apparently having already seen dead bodies, doesn't need to watch him execute a worthless bandit.

"What are we going to do with him ?", Annegret asks after they settle the chest on aspic's rump.

"Does your aunt have guards ?"

"I suppose," Annegret answers, "Or her husband does, at least. I suppose that someone has to guard their castle."

"Good, we'll take him with us. Your aunt's headguard can straighten him out then. Maybe he'll end up a decent stablehand, and if not you can always use him as a training dummy. He knows how to do that at least."

Annegret lets out a small surprised sound at that but Letho doesn't answer her, she can try to pry the story out of the bandit instead, it'll be a good way to hone her interrogation skills.

So Letho ties the man's hands to his horse's saddle, makes sure that they didn't forget anything and sets off towards Annegret's aunt's estate. He hopes that she'll agree to stay there this time around. 

Their journey is quite exhausting with a useless complaining asshole forced to follow them and Letho is so glad to finally spot the castle after three long days of travel.

He delivers the distraught bandit to the guards and the man is so happy to not have been used as a training dummy this time around that he even gratefully thanks Letho for the ride. The witcher shakes his head at the pathetic sight and gives strict orders to the guards to keep an eye on him. 

He's then actually invited to spend the evening meal with Annegret's family, gets to listen to her as she tells them about her so-called adventure and watches her present the chest of coin to her aunt and uncle with pride.

He's then offered a room for the night and then breakfast in the morning and he's sure that if he asked to stay a few more days, Annegret and her aunt would agree to it. So much generosity is a bit unsettling, he's still not used to people offering him kindness because they want to. So he doesn't plan to further call on their hospitality and decides to leave in the morning.

Annegret accompanies him to the castle's gates and Letho watches suspiciously left and right to make sure that no horse appears that she would use to follow him again. Luckily she apparently is planning to stay put this time and only insists on hugging him again.

She then makes him promise to come back again soon and waves at him as he leaves. He waves back, a bit hesitantly, and thinks that he'll probably come back next winter. He'll have a nice job again, will be able to check on the kids and their progress and probably will be offered a bed for free. As he sees it, he has a great winter ahead of him. He just needs to endure the next few rough months first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So a few people asked about Letho and the kids, and here is some !!  
> I plan to write a few more one-shots.
> 
> See you soon!


	3. Chapter 3

Letho is gathering some nice small seashells on a temerian beach when Auckes finds him. They established some sort of shift a few years ago about who got to enjoy the seaside when, and Letho is just glad that it's the Vipers' turn this year. It enables him to prepare a few gifts for the kids he's going to meet again in the winter.

And seeing as he can't afford to pay for twenty-five presents - even if his purse is rather full, he's being careful - he decided to pick up seashells for the interested kids to turn into necklaces or bracelets and some shiny pebbles the younger ones will add to their pet rocks' collections. He has to be very careful not to crush the small delicate shells between his big fingers though, and he just hopes that the kids will like his presents.

Auckes finds him on a beach one summer afternoon with his ankles in the cool water and just watches him with a frown on his face for a few minutes. Letho doesn't fidget, he's not ashamed of what he's doing, and his brother can keep his stupid thoughts for himself if he has any.

"I heard about a harpy nest in the neighbourhood," Auckes finally says and apparently decides to ignore the seashell problem for now.

"Took care of it two days ago," Letho grunts as he picks up another seashell that he throws right back into the water because it has a hole in it.

"Okay. Too bad for me, I guess. Is there anywhere I can put my belongings ?", Auckes asks him.

"Got my camp set up in a cave some ten minutes away," Letho answers and points north, "You can't miss it, Aspic is settled into the patch of grass next to it."

"Right. Thanks. I'll settle Taipan next to him then and go fishing for dinner while you... do your thing."

Letho nods and waves him off. Auckes lets him be and leaves with a puzzled shake of his head. Letho hopes that he'll catch something good, maybe halibuts or herrings, it's been a while since he tasted grilled fish.

He spends another two hours looking for seashells, ends up with a small bag worth of them, adds two smooth almost blue pebbles and a small conch to his collection and slowly makes his way back towards his cave.

When he gets back, Letho spots the two horses grazing happily and takes them to the small nearby stream. He lets them drink and harvests some wild strawberries, chards and thyme he finds nearby and washes them. He then leads the horses back to their patch of grass, where he can keep an eye on them, and finds Auckes in the cave skewering four middle sized fishes on sticks.

He hands the thyme to his brother who stuffs it into the cleaned fishes and puts them over the fire to grill slowly. They share the chard between them, eat it raw, and Letho goes back to his seashell's collection while they wait for the fish to cook. He puts the two pebbles into one of his saddlebags, which is already containing other rocks and makes a weird rattling noise when moved, and sorts the shells by size into two small bags.

"Okay, I bite. Why are you collectiong the shells ?", Auckes asks him.

Letho eyes him contemplatively for a few seconds. So far he hasn't thought about what he wants to tell the other witchers and wonders what his brother will think of his new occupation.

"They're gifts," he tells him.

"For _whom_?" Auckes asks, flabbergasted.

"A bunch of kids I taught this winter. I'm going back again this year and I don't want to show up empty-handed."

"You're kidding me, right ? Kids ? Someone gave _you_ kids ?"

"Fuck you," Letho grumbles, "It was nice. I had a warm bed, hot meals three times a day and I even got paid."

"What did you have to do for all of that then ? No way you got everything for free !"

"Like I said, I had to teach a bunch of kids how to fight."

"That's all ?", Auckes asks suspiciously.

"Yeah. It was a bit of a nightmare in the beginning though. The kids were terrifyingly bad. One even managed to cut off his own finger."

"And you weren't beaten or sacked for it ?"

"No. I was told that it was normal. They were quite good at hand to hand though."

"And you're considering going back ? You're sure that... it's safe ? That nobody's trying to trick you ?"

Lethro shrugs and takes one of the sticks with a perfectly grilled fish on it and takes a bite. It's good.

"They all seemed like decent people," Letho tells him after he swallows his mouthful, "No beatings, no weird compensations required and no stiffing on what they promised me. Course I'm going back. And the brats aren't so bad once you know how they work and what to look out for."

Auckes hums and chews on his own fish before answering.

"Then you're a lucky bastard. You know that, right ?"

Letho smirks at him and starts on his second fish. When they're done, they share the strawberries and then share the latest news between them. Apparently Jaskier managed to acquire a teaching post at Oxenfurt the last winter, and will probably go back this winter too, and Heyn had spent a month squatting in his quarters to see how long it would take for the bard to snap and throw him out.

The Cats had apparently burned down a brothel in Sodden and relocated all the workers to their own establishment in Temeria, and Auckes has heard that someone has blessed the orchard of some town in Lyria against coin and has left a charm on the trees to make them prosper. Letho grunts at that and wonders who the stupid fuck who answered this request is. He bets that it is a Cat, it totally seems like their kind of crazy.

Letho doesn't add anything, because Auckes is the first witcher he's meeting this season and he hasn't got anything new to share with him, and gets out his dice while Auckes offers a bottle of some expensive wine he stole a few weeks ago. They play a few rounds and go to sleep an hour after sundown. In the morning they decide to head north together for a while, and Auckes even helps him pick up some shells in the late afternoon. They enjoy a refreshing soak in the sea and continue north again.

They tackle another harpy nest together and stumble upon Serrit five days after they started travelling together. He's tending to a new gash on his right leg when they find him in a small clearing near some cliffs overlooking the sea, and they spot another horse next to his. Letho vaguely remembers seeing it in Kaer Morhen two winters ago but can't quite recall who it belongs to.

"Hey," Auckes greets their brother, "Need any help with that ?"

"Nah, it's fine. Damn Wolf stitched it up already. I'm just applying some salve and it'll be as good as new in a few days."

"Wolves have no right to be on the seashore this year," Letho grumbles because it's been a while since he annoyed his brother.

"Fuck you," Serrit answers, "I invited him. Still can't quite believe he agreed to come but well, it sure is easier to destroy harpy nests or take care of krakens with another pair of hands."

"He still is not a Viper," Letho grunts, "He can feed us as a compensation. I don't feel like going hunting or fishing."

"Lazy ass," Serrit snarks back, "You can take your gear off your horses, we're staying here for the night."

"Great. Do you think that your Wolf can find us some blackberries nearby ?", Auckes asks as he's taking the saddle off Taipan.

"Go get them yourself," Serrit orders and sprawls on the ground.

"But Letho said that Eskel should feed us," Auckes whines.

"He's not your slave," Serrit groans, "Don't be an asshole. I'm throwing you off the cliff if you spook him and make him run away."

They hum, finish to take care of their horses and head for the closest stream to fill their waterskins. They pick up some blackberries on their way back, because they're not complete assholes, and settle down next to Serrit and the fire he got going while they went away.

"Are you sitting on a _blanket_?", Letho asks his brother once he's settled with his back against a fallen tree trunk on the hard ground.

"Fuck off," Serrit growls back, "It's not mine."

Letho and Auckes share a mocking smirk between them.

"It's comfortable, dammit, and Eskel fucking insisted, alright ?"

"Sure," Auckes smiles, "Don't worry, we won't hold the fact that you're growing soft in your old age against you."

"Again. Fuck. You. You're just jealous anyway."

Auckes and Serrit continue to snipe at each other and Letho tunes them out. He hears soft footsteps coming back after a while but they stop at the edge of the clearing and Letho groans. Damn weird Wolf, Letho will never understand what Serrit sees in him.

"Oi," he yells and his brothers fall quiet, "Stop lurking, you weird creep ! Hope you got enough for everyone, we're starving."

Eskel finally appears with a mild scowl on his face and approaches them warily. He's bringing a small deer with him though, so Letho lets him be, he doesn't want to have to go hunting if they scare him away with the meat. They exchange cordial greetings and Auckes gets up to help with the meat and they put everything over the fire.

The Wolf then checks on Serrit's leg, despite his brother's embarrassed grumbling, and Letho smirks at him over Eskel's broad back. He laughs when his brother flips him off. Once again they share the latest news together, and Letho's damn proud that they manage to make the Wolf smile with the orchard story.

They learn that Aiden, Coën and Lambert are still insufferable as ever together and Eskel conveys Cirilla's greetings to them. Auckes then takes out a wrinkled parchment out of one of his saddlebags and starts to pen a reply for the girl. Letho and Serrit add a few words and give the letter to Eskel to pass on to Cirilla over the winter. And at the talk of winter, Auckes' smile widens and he eagerly turns towards Serrit and Eskel.

"Speaking of winter," Auckes says and points at Letho, "You won't believe what this idiot got up to during the last winter."

"Oh, do share, please," Serrit says with a smirk.

Letho grumbles but he knows that he won't be able to stop the news from spreading anyway. He gets up, checks the meat, finds it juicy and tender, if still a bit rare, and gets it off the fire. He prefers it rare than charred anytime. He hands out the meat to his brothers and Eskel, puts the leftovers over some leafs on a flat rocks and settles back against his tree trunk to hear what tale Auckes is going to spin about his winter.

“Letho found a teaching job in... Actually you didn't tell me where.”

“In Redania,” Letho grunts and leaves it at that, they don't need to know more anyway.

“Right, in Redania. He spent his winter teaching freaking kids how to fight.”

“No way,” Serrit says, “You ? Teaching ?”

“I can picture it actually,” Eskel intervenes and the three Vipers all turn around to stare at him, “What ? Ciri couldn't stop speaking about his lessons during her first winter at the keep. You might have a ... peculiar, shall we say, teaching method but it works.”

“Thanks. I think,” Letho grunts back and Eskel nods at him.

“So what did you do ? Took them bandit hunting ?”, Serrit wonders.

“The kids would probably have been delighted by that,” Letho muses and can perfectly picture them swarming bandits and jumping on their unconscious bodies in glee, it is somewhat disturbing, “But their parents probably wouldn't have been happy with me.”

“They let you get away with letting a kid cut off his finger.”

“I already told you,” Letho grumbles, “It runs in the family and wasn't my fault. I was paying attention, dammit, he just moved his hand something like... No, worse than that, and there went his finger. You got the picture ?”

Letho demonstrates the movement as he explains it, or tries to because he still doesn't completely understand how Willem actually did it, and looks at his companions willing them to understand.

“Mm, no,” Auckes says, “That is not possible.”

“Is too,” Letho groans, “I saw it. I was there.”

“Anyway,” Auckes says with a dismissive wave of his hand, “He even plans to go back there this winter.”

“Really ?”, Serrit gasps.

“It was nice,” Letho answers with a shrug, “And they actually want me back. I'm not letting an apportunity like that go.”

His brothers and Eskel hum in agreement and they finish their meal trading a few funny stories. Letho's nicely surprised to find out that the Wolf doesn't balk at sharing some of his and his brother Geralt's training mishaps and their evening goes by quickly.

After a few rounds of dice they decide to go to sleep, and Letho and Auckes, in a weird fit of tactfulness, manage to keep their mouths shut and do not mock Serrit when Eskel fusses over his body. The Wolf tucks their brother in, makes sure he has a blanket over him, even if it is summer, and spoons up behind him with a contented sigh. It's disgustingly sweet but Serrit seems to like it so they don't comment.

They travel together for four more days and the Wolf is nice enough to help Letho in his quest of collecting more seashells. He even find another conch, this one twice the size from the previous one, and hands it to Letho with a gentle smile. Letho accepts the gift and thanks him and adds it to his collection.

Letho is glad that Eskel seems to integrate himself nicely and to lose his awkwardness. And after two days of seeing Serrit smile mockingly at all of them and after he spends another day laughing at them collecting shells on the beach, Auckes starts to flirt with the Wolf in retaliation.

Letho is delighted by the chaos this simple gesture causes and even needles Serrit a little too. Eskel usually blushes and squirms under the attention, Serrit growls and groans and sometimes disappears for an hour at a time with the Wolf only for both of them to come back wearing each other's marks on their bodies. 

Letho then asks about weddings and handfastings and feasts and gowns - because he's an asshole - and gets pelted back with twigs and stones and gets dunk into the sea by Eskel and Serrit. It's all worth it.

Despite having a good time, they soon still have to go on their own way. On their last night together they share two of Auckes' stolen good wine bottles and some honey cakes the Wolf bought in the last settlement they crossed and enjoy a peaceful evening.

Before they depart, Serrit and Auckes still make fun of him, tell him that he's growing soft and that they're hoping he doesn't put on much weight during his planned luxurious winter. Letho flips them off and they agree to reconvene next summer at the border between Brugge and Sodden.

To get back at his brothers, Letho makes sure to tell Eskel to take good care of his clumsy brother and delights in watching Serrit's face turn sour. He then points out to his brothers that they sound jealous of his winter plans and that their bitterness caused the nobles to snub them when they were looking for someone to take on the job.

He leaves them spluttering on a temerian beach and heads north. And even if his brothers still seem skeptical about his new job, Letho himself is quite looking forward to it and he's not ashamed to admit it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See, I can be nice to Eskel too :p
> 
> The next chapter will probably feature some kids meeting other witchers!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If this chapter had a title, it would be "The wonders of good pet rocks" :D :p
> 
> Hope you'll like it!!
> 
> See you soon !!

When Letho arrives back at the count's castle, at the very beginning of winter, he immediately sets off again with his children, Gottfried and Hende, in tow. They head to the nearby marquess' castle instead, where they'll be hosted at first and where Heiko, Adelheid and Mert live. The journey is quick and comfortable, and they're nicely welcomed by their new host.

Letho is offered some nice rooms and he finds out that most of the kids are already present and waiting for the new lessons to begin with barely veiled excitation. They all congegrate around him as soon as he steps into the castle, and he finds out that he's rather glad to see them again. He missed them.

He waits until after supper to deliver his gifts and happily accepts the hugs the kids offer him in return. The new pet rocks are quickly divided between all of the kids, even the oldest ones, and four of them are put aside for Annegret, Ines, Gruvam and Marsha who are still on their way. The shells are a big hit with the girls and the oldest boys who start to speak about betrothal gifts together. Letho lets them be and excuses himself to join his very plush, very big, very appealing bed.

He resumes training on the morrow and it goes fairly well. He has to remind a few of the kids about safety procedures after eleven year old Fane almost loses parts of her ear and actually gets her hair cut off by Gresil.

Letho winces, waits for the tantrum the girl is going to throw and is surprised when none is forthcoming. Apparently Fane quite likes her hair short and Letho has the dubious honor of trimming the rest of her hair in the evening under the marchioness' disapproving stare. He doesn't let her bother him.

The four latecomers arrive three days after Letho, and eleven year old Ines immediately runs into his arms when she sees him and clings. She starts to babble about her parents and her cousin Marsha and something about horses and fires and Letho dumbly nods at her.

"Will you still teach me ?", she then asks him quietly, "Even if I'm a girl ?"

"Sure," Letho answers and rubs her back, "You can hold a dagger just as well as Kyle, can't you ?"

"Yes," Ines says proudly and finally lets him go to head towards the other children.

"What the fuck was that about ?", Letho grunts at her escort.

"Her parents didn't want her to come anymore," Gruvam sighs.

"Because she's a girl," Annegret adds with a disgusted grimace.

"So we stole her," Marsha finishes with a grin, "It wasn't even that hard."

"Well done," Letho praises them and hugs them.

Ines settles easily into the castle, works really hard during the lessons, and Letho is very proud of her progress and makes sure that she knows it.

Ines' parents arrive a week after their daughter and her mother, a viscountess, storms into the castle demanding to see her daughter. Said daughter disappeared a few minutes ago with Fane, probably to hide somewhere, and none of the kids answer the woman's questions. The marquess when he arrives is completely lost and turns towards Letho who grunts unhelpfully.

He then gets berated by the viscountess, growls at her and watches impassively as her husband drags her away. They spend the night at the castle, search for their daughter the next morning too, don't find her even as Fane reappears and Helmina disappears instead, and leave utterly disgusted.

"Good riddance," Letho grunts as he watches their carriage leave.

The kids all agree with him and Ines and Helmina reappear for supper with several newly made shell bracelets and anklets. Ines gifts him a bracelet, telling him to give it to his _lady love_ and Letho grunts, embarrassed. Nobles can be weird sometimes.

They resume their routine again after that and everything calms down. He teaches the kids and tells them stories some evenings - he's in the middle of a cycle he calls _training mishaps_ based on the stories he gleaned from his brethren - and learns how to make shell bracelets when he is lacking inspiration.

The bracelet making is an utterly frustrating task, but Marsha and Annegret insist on teaching him anyway, despite his grumbling because his fucking fingers aren't made for this. His fingers are big and he can crush bones between them, and therefore according to him not at all suited for such a delicate and time consuming task. He doesn't even know how many shells he already destroyed because he didn't manage to push the thread through them and got frustrated. The girls just ignore his complaints and force him to try again and again and again.

And then a month and a half after his arrival, Letho and the kids have to relocate again, this time to Gruvam's estate, which is lead by his widowed mother. The journey is quick and easy again and Letho even manages to stop Heiko from jumping into the piles of horse shit the kid is always attracted to. He feels rather proud about this last feat.

And one morning, two weeks after they are settled, as Letho is working with the youngests on avoiding a punch, dropping on the floor without hurting oneself, rolling and going for their opponent's feet, he feels his medallion thrum against his chest. He only has the time to issue a quick warning for the younger ones to step away before a portal opens.

The kids run out of the room screaming for the guards, who enter quickly and span out around the portal. Letho holds Annegret back by the back of her shirt when she tries to creep closer, and peers into the portal himself. He groans when he spots Serrit cheerfully waving back at him, Del and Eskel smiling at his side in what looks like Kaer Morhen's kitchen.

"Stand down," Letho orders the guards, who weirdly obey him without further prompting, he quite likes them.

"Hey !", Serrit greets him.

"What do you want ?", Letho asks him.

"Who is it ?", Annegret whispers at his side, creeps under his arm and peers inside the portal too, "Oh ! Witchers ! Hello !"

She waves and smiles at them and Letho gently pushes her back towards Marsha, he doesn't need her to encourage whatever shit his brother is going to pull.

"You finally found the right castle ?", Vesemir's voice asks from somewhere Letho can't see him.

"Yes," a woman answers back, probably Geralt's sorceress.

Vesemir finally appears, nods at Letho and violently pushes Serrit through the portal. Letho catches him before he ends up sprawled on the floor, and Del and Eskel are similarly shoved through too. He lets them fall on their faces.

"What the fuck ?", he grunts at Vesemir.

"They're banned from the keep for the day," Vesemir explains, "We're retrieving them tonight, once we find out why Cirilla can't look at them without giggling uncontrollably. Keep them out of trouble."

Before Letho can push his new pains in the ass back through the portal, the sorceress makes it disappear and he groans. He lets go of Serrit, who helps Eskel and Del to get up and turns back towards their audience.

The guards are warily staring at the witchers, the eldest kids are slowly creeping forward and Letho spots the youngest ones peering at them around the door-frame. He sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose before dismissing the guards and calling the kids back. They all readily troop back into the room.

Once his brethren are finally standing, the kids form a circle around them and whisper between them and points at the newcomers. Letho glares at them.

"What are you doing here ?", Letho grunts at them and crosses his arms over his chest.

"Nice to see you too, brother," Serrit answers with a grin, "We may have been small terrors at the keep this winter. Maybe. Possibly. A tiny little bit."

The kids giggle around them and Kuno takes a brave step forward, pokes Serrit in the leg and hurries back towards Marsha where he hides behind her legs. Del and Eskel crane their necks to look at all of the kids and adjust their postures trying to seem less impressive. Letho's mood brightens a little bit.

"That doesn't explain why you're _here_!", Letho growls, "Vesemir could have tasked you with mucking out the stables instead."

"We're actually banned from the stables," Del answers cheerfully as he gets down on his knees to wave and smile at Enur and Ebur who are quietly encouraging themselves to walk forward.

"And I kind of wanted to check on you," Serrit confesses with a sheepish smile.

"I'm fine," Letho sighs just as the room's door violently crashes against the wall and the countess, Gruvam's mother, steps in with a sword in her hands.

"What is going on here ?", she asks and looks around the room in puzzlement.

Letho sighs, goes up to her and gently pries the blade away from her fingers. He's seen what the kids are capable of and he doesn't doubt that their parents are just as bad.

"My lady," he says, "Some of my friends decided to visit. They just forgot all of their manners and didn't bother to use the door."

"Oh," the countess sighs as Gruvam joins her, "I'll tell the maids to increase the dinner portions then. And if you could please be quiet, noise and tax reports don't mix well together."

"Of course, my lady," Letho agrees.

The countess then cordially greets the three new witchers, asks them if she has to prepare some more beds to house them - thankfully they're not staying - and leaves them alone when she's satisfied her curiosity. Letho then introduces the kids to his brethren and Eskel and Del soon get crowded by tiny and less tiny girls and boys all wanting to ask them questions.

"So you really were telling the truth," Serrit comments softly as he comes to stand next to Letho.

"Did you doubt it ?"

"Somewhat," Serrit acknowledges as Letho hums, "You have to concede that your situation is quite unusual."

"It's nice," Letho offers with a shrug, "And you, spending the winter into the Wolves' keep ?"

"It's nice," Serrit parrots him, "Del dragged us to the Caravan for a bit after we left you and Auckes last summer, and then Eskel invited us and here we are."

"Good for you," Letho grunts as Serrit smiles at him.

Letho then turns towards Gresil and Fane, who are hesitating about coming closer, and beckons them over.

"What is it ?", Letho asks.

"Are you really _the_ mister Serrit that forgot his own trap and walked into a pit when you were still in training ?", Gresil asks completely seriously.

Letho can't help but smirk. His little munchkins are so adorable.

"Letho !", Serrit gasps, outraged, and then adds for the kids's benefit, "Lies and slander, my good lord and lady !"

"I don't believe you. You're lying," Fane says and pokes his belly with a disappointed frown on her face, "Letho never lies."

"Oh, crap. Yes, fine. I did," Serrit confesses when faced with what Letho calls the disappointed face of doom, "But don't you dare tell it to Eskel and Del though. Okay ?"

Fane and Gresil exchange a look and quickly dart back towards the other two witchers. Letho laughs.

"Fuck," Serrit curses, "Why won't they listen to me ? Grisil ! Greisil !"

"Gresil," Letho offers with a smirk.

"Gresil !", Serrit calls and heads for him, "Don't you dare ! Eskel do not listen to anything this brat tells you !"

"So," Annegret whispers as she sneaks to Letho's side, "Can I ask them to take me on an adventure ?"

"Stay away from them," Letho grouches.

"But mister Letho," Annegret whines.

"No," Letho grunts, "You already got your adventure."

"Then can I come with you this year again ?"

"You know that I know about your ongoing squabble with Marsha, Susanna, Gruvam, Lothar and Mert about who's leaving with me on an _adventure_ in spring ?", Letho asks, "And I'm not getting involved into _that_."

"You're no fun," Annegret pouts and heads back into the fray to help Kuno climb up on Del's back. Letho fondly shakes his head at the sight and takes a step back to admire the sweet chaos the three witchers unintentionally got started.

When Del gets up, he has Kuno on his back, and Fane and Ines are hanging from his arms while Enur and Ebur are clinging to his legs. Letho laughs out loud when he sees him take a few steps and stumble under the weight of the kids.

Eskel is gently redirecting Gresil's and Heiko's hands away from the dagger he's sporting at his waist. He finally sits down on the floor once he understands that the kids are interested in the dagger's wolf handle and he is soon swarmed by wide-eyed kids asking about the peculiar design.

Serrit is with the oldest ones, probably telling them a number of embarrassing stories about Letho. Annegret soon attaches herself to his arm, smiles sweetly at him and tries to convince his brother that she's a wonderful travelling partner.

Letho snorts when he hears it and doesn't even have to intervene, because Marsha and Gruvam take it upon themselves to start the debate about who gets to travel with him in the spring anew. 

"Can I borrow one of your kids ?", Del asks him as he stumbles past Letho with giggling kids all over him, "I so want one !"

"No," Letho grunts, "They're mine and you're a walking talking disaster. If I have to hand them to anyone, it would be Eskel."

"You're so unfair," Del whines, "You don't even know if he's good with kids seeing as he didn't get custody of Cirilla during the year she spent travelling with all of us !"

"He can only be better than you were," Letho explains and allows Kyle to hop up on his back too.

They spend the rest of their morning working on hand to hand combat with the kids and then share a truly monstrous meal that even impresses Eskel, Del and Serrit.

His brother then asks him with a smirk if Letho would be overly peeved if Serrit were to take his place for the remaining winter weeks. Letho tells him to fuck off and takes note to make sure Serrit actually leaves in the evening and doesn't hide somewhere in the castle. Letho can just picture him doing it just to be an asshole.

The kids get their weapons out in the afternoon with such hopeful faces that Letho can't refuse them even if he desperatly wants to. He lectures Del, Eskel and Serrit very very longly about keeping both eyes on the kids they have in front of them and lets them loose in the room with a feeling of dread. He just hopes that nobody will lose a finger again.

Eskel and Serrit turn out to be decent instructors but Del is a nightmare. He lets the kids he's teaching do what they want and has to step in at the last minute to save some limbs a few times. And with Del nearby, Letho feels like he has to keep an eye or an ear on him and doesn't feel concentrated enough on his own group.

He finally has to abandon his own group, which he unceremoniously hands to Eskel, and heads towards Del's when he hears the witcher bemoan the fact that nobody taught them how to throw themselves out of a window. By the time he reaches the room's last window, Willi is starting to run towards the open window and Letho misses him by an inch.

He can only watch with big eyes filled with fear as the kid flies through the window with a sword in hand. He lets out a small whine as the other kids cheer on their friend and finally closes his eyes because he just can't make himself look. He hears an alarmed shout, a thud and Del's pained cry as the smell of blood reaches his nostrils.

He slowly opens an eyelid and sees Willi hovering over Del, on whom he probably landed, and apologizing profusely. Before he can step outside to check on the Cat and the kid, Serrit and Eskel come running and Letho has to turn back towards the room, because the two idiots abandonned their groups and didn't think of taking the weapons away.

By the time everything's in order again, Del is sitting in one corner of the room with a bandaged shoulder, a black eye Letho gave him for his idiocy and strict orders not to move. Heiko is sitting next to him, nursing a sprained wrist, and telling him about his pet rocks' collection in great detail. Letho just feels lucky nothing worse than a sprain happened.

They resume the class after that and the next two hours pass without an incident. When they're done, some servants bring sandwiches and water and they all sit down for a light snack.

“I learned the best thing ever,” Del then says to Eskel and Serrit.

They both make interested sounds around their mouthfuls and Letho keeps an ear on them.

“Heiko has a pet rocks' collection and he gave them names.”

“And ?”, Serrit wonders as Letho grins.

“He gives them names he takes from Letho's goodnight stories.”

“Oh, sweet Melitele,” Serrit says with a shit-eating grin, “ _You_ tell them stories before putting them to bed ? That is the best thing ever !”

“Shut up,” Letho grouches.

“Not just any stories,” Del continues, “Stories about us. And the kid has three pet rocks named Aiden, Coën and Lambert.”

“No way,” Serrit says as Eskel chokes on his food and Letho laughs, he loves Heiko.

“Do you have other pet rocks too ?”, Eskel asks Heiko who nods enthusiastically.

“Oh, yes,” Heiko says with a smile, “I've got a Geralt and a Jaskier, they're green and best friends. And a red Jayn, and a big brown shiny Ivo.”

“That's the best thing ever,” Serrit whispers to Eskel and then asks again, “That's all ?”

“I've got another big brown shiny pebble called Heyn,” Adelheid, Heiko's sister, answers, “And an ocher Auckes.”

“And Mert has a Serrit,” Heiko adds as Eskel and Del burst out laughing, “and a Mal he uses as a door wedge.”

“Hey !”, Serrit exclaims with a disgruntled expression on his face, “Do you have an Eskel and a Del too ?”

“Not yet,” Heiko says with a pout, “I'm still looking. But I want a Vesemir first, he'll be white, because that's the closest I can find to transparent.”

“Why transparent ?”, Eskel asks puzzled.

“Because he's a ghost,” Heiko says with a shrug.

“Really ?”, Eskel wonders sharply and glares at Letho who smirks back unrepentantly, that had been a funny story to tell.

“Do you have pet rocks too ?”, Fane then asks.

“No,” Del answers.

The kids all look at them in horror and Letho laughs again. Maybe inviting more of his brethren to visit from time to time wouldn't be such a bad idea after all. It sure as hell was entertaining.

“You don't ?”, Kuno whispers, distressed, “But pet rocks are the best !”

“Even mister Letho has one,” Kuno adds, “And Marsha, and Gruvam, and Annegret, and Lothar... Everyone has a pet rock !”

“They're savages,” Letho intervenes softly, “They just don't understand the wonders of good pet rocks.”

“The wonders of good pet rocks ?”, Serrit repeats and snickers, “Bullshitting much, brother ?”

“It's not bullshit,” Heiko says offended, “They don't need food, or to be taken outside, they're clean and you can hold them when you're scared in the night.”

“And mister Letho says that they can be used to knock someone out too,” Adelheid adds wisely.

“By the gods,” Serrit whispers, “What did you do to them, Letho ? Are you brainwashing them ?”

“Just wait,” Heiko intervenes before Letho can answer, “I've got a spare rock in my bags. I can give it to you !”

Gresil and Lene apparently also carry spare rocks with them, agree to give them away too and they all disappear to fetch them. They proudly present them to Del, Eskel and Serrit when they come back, and the witchers gingerly take them under the kids' expectant eyes. Letho snickers when he sees their puzzled faces.

The stones still get carefully stored into the witchers' pockets and the kids thanked. And just as Heiko asks Del for a story of his own, Letho's medallion thrums and a portal opens in the room again. The kids make some delighted noises and congegrate next to the portal to peer inside. Again, Letho has to keep Annegret back. She offers him a smirk and settles at his side.

“Everyone still in one piece ?”, Lambert asks them from the other side.

“Mostly,” Letho smirks, “And Del totally deserved what happened to him.”

“It wasn't my fault,” the Cat whines, “I don't even know how that sword ended up in my shoulder ! It was pointing at the ground before Willi collided with my chest.”

“It's one of their gifts,” Letho drily answers, “And I warned you.”

“So can we come back ?”, Eskel asks with a grin.

“Sure,” Lambert says with a sharp smile, “Vesemir and Lil' Bleater redecorated your room though. Don't know if you'll like it.”

Eskel groans and hides his face in his hands.

“I told you fucking with Vesemir's clothes was a bad idea,” the Wolf mumbles and glares at Del and Serrit when he dares to raise his head again.

“Hey, don't put all the blame on us,” Serrit says, “You agreed to it too.”

“What did you do ?”, Letho asks, curious.

“We were on laundry duty,” Eskel sighs, “And we made a scarecrow with Vesemir's clothes that we put into the chicken coop five days ago. They are covered in feathers and poultry dung by now. And he apparently found out about it while we were away.”

“Nice,” Letho praises them, “And Cirilla ?”

“She was covering for us,” Del says with a grin, “She was the one collecting the eggs during that time.”

“And you got her into trouble too,” Lambert says, “She's on cooking duty for a week.”

“And us ?”, Serrit asks.

“That is a surprise,” Coën answers with a grin as he comes into view, “Yennefer's getting snippy, so if you would just step through.”

“You know,” Serrit says, “I think I might just stay here. Less chores, more fun.”

“Oh, no, you don't,” Letho grunts and pushes his brother through.

The kids all laugh as he stumbles and falls on his face at Coën's feet. Letho then pushes Eskel through too and Del raises his hands placatingly and steps into the portal of his own free will.

“See you soon, Letho,” Coën says and waves at him.

“See you, Coën. Don't bother me again.”

The Griffin nods at him and the portal finally closes. When he turns back, twenty-five pairs of eyes blink at him and Letho just knows that an evening full of questions is waiting for him. He groans and bolts for the door. The kids follow him shrieking and laughing and he finally lets himself be caught on the second floor. He soon ends up at the bottom of a pile of wriggling and laughing kids.

He lets out a defeated sigh, because he knows that he'll humor them later, he just can't seem to be able to say _no_ to them, and hopes that they won't ask embarrassing or humiliating questions. But that is probably too much to hope for, his kids are nice, but they're weirdly devoid of tact when they want to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also Eskel was supposed to end up with just Serrit in the beginning, but Del decided to stick around and I can't manage to get rid of him... So now Eskel is in a threesome, lucky baby :D :p

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed it!  
> See you soon for more crack :p


End file.
